


Finally here, my dear Darkness

by xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Ficlet, Gen, Great Depression, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, Minor Ai | Ignis/Fujiki Yuusaku, Minor Violence, Not Happy, References to Depression, SOLtis Ai | Ignis, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx/pseuds/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx
Summary: After fightning Bohman and losing his family. Ai stands alone in the darkness, fighting with himself; his thoughts and desperation.
Kudos: 6





	Finally here, my dear Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> It's 6am, couldn't sleep, and I'm in an emo mood. So, I started this self-talk depressed Ai.
> 
> Before anybody gets confused, Ai has a SOLtiS body, and finds himself with his Ignis original form too.
> 
> Basically, I wanted to write a "fighting with myself" stuff? Like, Ai hating his old self for not protecting his family as he promised.
> 
> So, SOLtiS Ai is his "new self" the one who will make "the right decision". But, he's still hating himself.
> 
> Hope it gets clear.
> 
> Implied Ai/Lightning? Not sure.

They were dead. How many times did he have to repeat that in the coldness of his presence? It was about him and no one else, he always listened to him turn his back on everything that was going on around him and it turned out to be true. 

In this bubble of heroism and love for a human who promised him his own survival and not of the family that awaited for him.

One of them betrayed him? Yes. Lightning was the name of the poison, there was no light where Ai was now hiding in his own remorse, only to not have to think of the worst emotions for that Ignis, because, in the end, Lightning was part of his family.

Lightning. He never understood him.

Lightning. He'd never understand him.

He didn't even understand himself, Ai was consumed in what humans called sadness and by savoring it, he could also use that word.

What would Lightning say about those emotions?

Ai still wanted to wonder that, as if his word was trustworthy, because hearing Lightning's voice meant hearing the voice of the rest.

_ Relax. _ Windy would say.

_ It's not your fault. _ Aqua would speak without having to hear a word.

_ One of us had to live. _ Earth would pronounce with his characteristic monotony, yet his concern would be still there.

_ There was no other option. _ Flame would end with the calm of someone who accepted his fate.

And Ai, he'd say to himself…

"Was it really a mistake to choose Yusaku over your family?"

The golden-eyed IA rested on his knees, had the expression so calm that it matched his tone of voice. For some reason, when he looked at him, something inside his chest was squeezing.

"Now you have better shape," the little Dark Ignis added.

Yes, he had the shell of a human. He pretended to have the same comforts of one, hiding uselessly in the net.

It wasn't to be with Yusaku.

He didn't want to take Yusaku's hand as if they were from the same world... on the same side.

He didn't want to live like a human with Yusaku.

He didn't want to live.

He just…

... hated the appearance of futility. So small and fragile he looked in that original form. 

_ You're not amazing. _

_ You're not a hero. _

The Ignis rested his chin on his hands and his face stretched slightly, hinting that he was smiling.

He was making fun of him. He always scoffed.

_ You never take things seriously, Dark Ignis. Someday you'll regret it, but that day, it will be too late to repent. _

Those words were Lightning's. Why?

Why did he treasure them so much? He wrapped his own 'human' body with his arms, as if he were going to embrace Lightning's words.

Like he hugs Lightning and say,  _ You're right. _

But at the time, he had only said to him:  _ I am sleepy. _

And he rested his head on the shoulder of the one who betrayed him some time later. He'll never know why he let him be like this, when Lightning didn't like to be touched.

Lightning would just let him into his area at the Cyberse and talk to him even knowing how stupid Ai was to understand.

_ Now I understand. But don't accept it. _

He'd save Yusaku over and over again. He would protect him from all the danger that would bring him to suffering and death.

That's why he made his decision.

He's already lost his family.

Flame, Aqua, Earth, Windy.

Lightning.

He wouldn't lose the only member he had left. The one he loved more than himself.

Yusaku.

"I was right! It wasn't a mistake to be on the side of humans after all, was it, Ai-chan?" The Ignis giggled and kept looking at him as if he knew everything from his frivolity.

He was a small, selfish, stupid thing.

That's how he looked himself, in that disgusting, useless way.

All it took was his hand to take that little body and press it like he's looking to get his eyes out like that. All his members, one by one.

He squeezed more and more and received only one tearful cry and tears pouring out of those eyes.

He stamped him on the ground, continued to press until his other hand decided to have a little more action and closed in a fist that crushed the face of the Dark Ignis.

His screams and cries still sounded, this time in a distorted way, like the body being destroyed.

That Ignis didn't beg for his life. He was just crying.

Just as he was crying himself. Human tears.

_ I hate you _

He told him.

_ I hate you _

He told himself.

_ I hate myself _

He repeated at every blow, crushing the body until there was nothing left. Even when that so repugning being turned into a corrupted data dust, his fist continued to strike solid nothingness, letting his synthetic knuckles receive scratches, with blood as fake as his tears.

_ hatehatehatehate _

_ diediediedie _

_ "Sorry..." he sobbed _

_ Flame, Windy _

_ " _ I'm sorry…"

_ Aqua, Earth _

_ " _ I'm sorry I didn't realize it before…"

_ Lightning. _

_ " _ I'm sorry I didn't protect anything!'

_ Yusaku… he wasn't 'anything'. _

_ Yusaku was… _

Ai dropped to the ground, hugging his knees while a cry escaped from his throat that waited a long time to leave. 

_ Yusaku… _

_ Kill me. _

  
  



End file.
